An Angel to Guide Me

These are not times to draw back from the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. On the contrary, we need Our Lord more than ever!

closed churchLast time (the first time) there was a lockdown and they closed the churches, I suffered the effects greatly. In my parish there was no access to the Sacraments, no visiting of the sick or dying or those in need of counsel, no spiritual guidance, not even any contact; not so much as an email or phone call. Months, we went without, and then, when we were allowed to return, (after, and therefore without, an appropriate celebration for Feast of Easter) we had to register online which meant the elderly who had no access to or knowledge of technology, would be turned away at the door. They were given no alternative. Half the numbers at most, returned.  It was a pity they didn’t also educate themselves about exemptions, leaving me alone to assist their understanding. Having been so quick to exclude, they were a little slower at acting but they did listen- for The Hand of the Lord was upon me.

One of the saddest parts was that a kind and elderly friend of mine, who loved Our Lady and used to attend Daily Mass before the lockdown, was unable, like all of us, to do so. Add to that the additional difficulties of registration, and being a small church, he waited- and went without Holy Mass for 6 months. And in that state, he died, unexpectedly. At home. Alone. And no one knew. It is one of those great injustices that will always be with me.

On a personal level, I was going through one of the hardest trials of my life, right in the midst of  COVID, lockdowns and what I will call, lock out. I needed the Sacraments and I needed to celebrate Mass and receive grace. But our shepherds, whether they meant to or not, abandoned us. Afterwards, I told them that they were never to do that again. If they were ill prepared last time and did not know how to do battle, if they were caught unawares, then surely reflection and the stories which came to light, would make them do differently this time. Surely my tearful pleas to ‘never do that to us again’ would have imprinted on the heart of my shepherd?

Fast-forward to June 2021. Just in time for the school holidays and with very little warning, the government closed churches again. Restrictions were already again in place. By the time we heard about the order, on Friday afternoon, to take place before 6pm, there was little time to scramble. Some good shepherds, quickly chose to organise a 5pm Vigil mass to strengthen the faithful, to conclude before lockdown, and word quickly spread to daily Catholic Mass devotees. By the time I heard about it, I was too far away to make it across the suburbs, but I took solace in the fact that I had been able to go earlier in the week, and that I was able to ask a friend to offer up Holy Communion for my grieving soul. They are trying to keep Our Lord from us, I thought. The friend did do just that and the effects upon my soul, cannot be measured. I decided, by Saturday night, that I would not obey this time and I would not stay away from Our Lord. I would find a way.

Sunday morning arrived. I got dressed for Mass and drove right past our empty local churches. Where was I going? What was I doing?

I had decided to find a secret Mass. And I thought that if I wasn’t allowed in, at least I could be outside the walls and praying while a Mass took place inside. There was the risk that I would find nothing at all, but then, at least I could pray and mourn- and lay my head and one little hand on the outside wall;- for The Lord, left alone inside, on the other side of that wall, in the Tabernacle.

I had heard that previously a good priest (known to me but out of area) had continued to say Mass secretly, in an unadvertised location, and to minister Holy Communion, during the last ban. Word of mouth gets info. around in Catholic circles (and that’s without social media and despite lockdown!)

 I didn’t know what time that was but I had an approximate. I went alone, not wishing to expose the children to getting pulled over by police or to take the risk, when I had not surveyed the country and did not know what to expect. My husband thought I was crazy. When I arrived, not a car was in sight. There was a high fence with two locked gates. I was locked out. I looked toward the chapel. I thought, “There’s a Mass going on in there”. I wanted to get in. I craned my neck and looked through the gate. I spied something. Down the very back, a high solid, fence had a gate. The gate was ever so slightly ajar. But for this fact, I would not have even known that this fence panel, doubled as a gate. Behind the barrier appeared to be thick bush. I wonder if that is fenced also? I wonder if I can get in that way.

Down the road I sped, light as a feather on my feet, past the property, to the thick line of bush. A little barbed wire fence inside the boundary. I hope they don’t mind me trespassing. I hitched up my long skirt a little and hopped over. I considered snakes, but it was partially clear. A quick prayer and I weaved towards the high fence boundary. Praise be to God! I could see the gate. It was still ajar and I could slip straight in. I ran to the chapel and up the steps, faced by a large, closed, imposing wooden door. There was not a person or car in sight. Not a sound to be heard. I tried the handle. Not locked. A step more and I was inside; Mass was underway and it was glorious! I was full of joy.

Afterwards, I learned the procedure– including when to arrive and where the cars were hidden. I learned that the priest was holding daily Mass, Adoration, Benediction, Confession and Communion. He joked about the possibility of going to gaol. We laughed but we all knew the risks we were taking. The graces were worth it. We left quickly and quietly.

Sundays are the biggest risk. I don’t think most police would even suspect, let alone know, that weekday Mass occurs. So each week, on a Sunday in particular, I am faced with the same decision. Do I take the risk? What will I say if I am pulled over? But how I, how will society, survive this draconian period, without Holy Mass being attended? How would Our Lord feel? He, Who begs us to come to Him and be embraced by Him. No. The laws of God are above man.

“You will get caught. You will be fined” my husband said. $1000 is a lot of money… But what’s a Mass worth? For my husband, for my children, for my country? One mass is worth far more than that. The graces are four-fold in this situation. I can feel it. Because we have taken risks and placed our stakes and chosen to trust in The Lord. And I am not the only one. This priest is not the only one. A small handful of faithful shepherds doing what they can. Quiet, determined resistance.

It has been 3 weeks now and just before this weekend, they further tightened restrictions and made it harder to leave home. You can only travel within 10km of home- only to approved ‘essential’ services, or to do one shop- and then only one person. No travelling or gathering with friends. More police on the roads checking. Police blocks on main roads. Some areas completely locked down to all travel. From Wednesday, fines will be over $10,000 if you don’t let people work from home. Even all construction work is banned. Barely anyone will have a valid excuse. A single car will be visible. The risk is much greater now. Well, Lord what are we going to do? You know I have to go. Which mass will be safest to avoid detection?

angel dfb2d96633d107b74e1effcf79e7245b

So, this morning I asked my angel to wake me up. If he wanted me to leave extra early, he’d have to wake me. He knows how. Maybe I was needed early? (To give a lift home to an elderly friend who otherwise walks for 2.5 hours). If I didn’t wake early, I would have to go in the light of day. There were three Mass options; one priest, same location. I always pray the Seal of The Living God for protection. It makes us invisible to our enemies. And I ask my guardian angel to help me. I prayed as I fell asleep.

That night I fell asleep very late and then tossed and turned over a work problem. Suddenly around 6am, I became wide awake, which was surprising. I still had work on my mind. I went to the toilet and noticed that in the back of my mind was a tiny, little tune that I could barely hear playing. It persisted to nag at me, like an ear worm. What was that tune? I concentrated a little harder and then it became suddenly clear: the words flooded my mind; the whole first verse and chorus, as if someone had finally tuned the radio! The angels had been singing to me last night! On very rare occasions, I awake to sacred music in my mind. The song is nothing I have been singing or heard or thought of recently, usually I haven’t heard it in years! But nevertheless I wake up as if I have been singing it, or have been sung to, all night long. I also awake at these times, surprised  with wonder and joy. (That’s not the way I usually wake up either. I am not a morning person at all!)

And what was the tune? “Blessed Be the Lord.”

It was the perfect encouragement. I jumped up for early Mass with complete confidence. The words are as follows:

Blessed be the Lord. Blessed be the Lord.

The God of Mercy. The God Who saves.

I shall not fear the dark of night.

Nor the arrow that flies by day.

 

He will release me from the nets of all my foes.

He will protect me from their wicked plans.

No harm shall come to me.

No arrow strike me down.

No evil settle in my soul.

 

Blessed be the Lord. Blessed be the Lord.

The God of Mercy. The God Who saves.

I shall not fear the dark of night.

Nor the arrow that flies by day.

 

And so, once again, I joyfully and safely made my two and a half hour round trip.

Not surprisingly I was able to use this to encourage others too who had been seldom able to venture out, to have courage and trust in the Lord – no matter how long their journey. Fr. also emphatically assured us that these twice daily Masses would continue throughout lockdown, no matter what.

Last night the reading in the Book of Truth that I opened on, also urged me to go to Mass. And to keep going daily until the time that the Daily Sacrifice is taken away.

3806121113234475028

The reading was entitled:

“My Holy Eucharist must still be received by you. You must not stop your daily Sacrifice, as it will not be you who will be forced to make this decision.” (Wed. Feb 27, 2013.)

The message can be read here:

https://missionofsalvation.com/message-0717/

It’s a message for us all. If you are afraid, take it to The Lord. He knows the desires of your heart and you only need to ask for courage to do His Holy Will and the help of your angel to guide you.

 

Published by

RemnantchildofMary

Catholic mother of seven children. Crusade prayer warrior in Jesus' Final Mission to save souls.