Christmas is not easy for everyone. This post is for all of you, Some of us are lonely, some miss better times, some have broken families, some lack hope or are struggling physically, emotionally and mentally. Even for those who manage to put on a brave face, family celebrations fall short. What I mean by this is that we try to make those celebrations joyful, happy, loving but giving presents, slaving over food and serving a nice lunch is just not enough. It is only enjoyable when everyone’s love (ours and others and even those not present) is unselfish and humble and holy; reflecting that of God the Father. It is only joyful when we feel assured of our loved ones Salvation…when we have hope. But feelings of Salvation are not facts- if we are honest.

We live in a fallen world requiring healing. Healing and conversion lead to shared joy. Faith leads us, continually, to Salvation.

At Christmas I entered a relatively small, but real, struggle against despair. I desire authentic Love. I desire conversion and healing and peace for all those I love- with all my heart. God knows this.

It’s been a long time and not having unity within the family at a time like this, can be very disheartening. I had been praying the miracle Christmas Novena to St Andrew as well as

since March, on the 25th of each month, the Novena for Impossible Requests. I prayed this over 9 months for all those intentions very close to my heart – for conversion, healing, peace, reconciliation and family unity- in every branch and between all members. Both these Novena prayers are very beautiful and enrich the faithful over time. They are similar but focus on different aspects. It was a joy to pray them. If you have not heard of them I recommend them to you. You can set a reminder for March 2025.

Right towards the end, I was tempted. An inner struggle came over me that I would not receive the answer to my prayer, that it was impossible (because it appeared so) and because the timing wasn’t right. The struggle was almost physical; it made me tremble. The first thing I did was let my angel remind me that nothing is impossible for God. He couldn’t remind me of something I had never read or pondered on but I had (lesson: read your bible). Also I had experienced God doing the impossible before, through prayer. So he helped me remember that. So Satan tried another tactic: “Give up on an imminent answer- this answer is not for you, now. You are going to have another less than happy Christmas with fewer and fewer children attending Mass. It could be years yet, if ever, before you receive the answer you desire. Nothing you do or say will make a difference.” You can imagine how these thoughts from Satan might get you down even if they hold some truth to them- especially since they do! But God had asked something of me, too, of which He had already made me aware. And that is why I was receiving those temptations.

I realised something was being asked of me through a Bible reading that I had read and pondered over a few days beforehand. I will share it with you for your own circumstances and how it spoke to me.

Jeremiah 23: 16-29

¹⁶ Thus saith the Lord of hosts: Hearken not to the words of the prophets that prophesy to you, and deceive you: they speak a vision of their own heart, and not out of the mouth of the Lord.

¹⁷ They say to them that blaspheme me: The Lord hath said: You shall have peace: and to every one that walketh in the perverseness of his own heart, they have said: No evil shall come upon you.

¹⁸ For who hath stood in the counsel of the Lord, and hath seen and heard his word? Who hath considered his word and heard it?

¹⁹ Behold the whirlwind of the Lord’s indignation shall come forth, and a tempest shall break out and come upon the head of the wicked.

²⁰ The wrath of the Lord shall not return till he execute it, and till he accomplish the thought of his heart: in the latter days you shall understand his counsel.

²¹ I did not send prophets, yet they ran: I have not spoken to them, yet they prophesied.

²² If they stood in my counsel, and had made my words known to my people, I should have turned them from their evil way and from their wicked doings.

²³ Am I, think ye, a God at hand, saith the Lord, and not a God afar off?

²⁴ Shall a man be hid in secret places, and I not see him, saith the Lord? do not I fill heaven and earth, saith the Lord?

²⁵ I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name, and say: I have dreamed, I have dreamed.

²⁶ How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets that prophesy lies, and that prophesy the delusions of their own heart?

²⁷ Who seek to make my people forget my name through their dreams, which they tell every man to his neighbour: as their fathers forgot my name for Baal.

²⁸ The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream: and he that hath my word, let him speak my word with truth: what hath the chaff to do with the wheat, saith the Lord?

²⁹ Are not my words as a fire, saith the Lord: and as a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

In a nutshell, God was saying to me:

If they had proclaimed His Word, (rather than their own placades, inspirations, thoughts, advice, dreams etc) they (us) could have made them turn from their wicked lives. So I had a job to do. A hard one- due to the circumstances. I couldn’t ignore the situation and I couldn’t just avoid it. I had to remind them of the Word of God and good examples where it was lived. How they themselves have benefitted from mercy and forgiveness. However….

How many times have we spoken, or avoid speaking, because we know we will be rebuffed, contradicted, accused of preaching, mocked, turned away, dismissed, treated with outright anger or contempt, or hurt even more? (Because we so dread to hear the words of hatred and cursing that we expect will come out of their mouths in response to a particular topic) I was getting warning signs all week that this would happen if I said anything, as the end to the Christmas Novena dew closer. Satan was saying “Shut up. Back off- this is my territory”.

The fact was that I was struggling with courage even while professing to have faith by repeating to myself that “God can do anything, even the impossible.” And yet, recognising this lack, is the first step to being able to rectify it- through asking for the needed graces. I had recently been enrolled in The Miraculous Medal by ‘God-incidence’ too, after having worn it for many, many years.

So by reading God’s Word and praying for continual grace, by Christmas I had worked out that God wanted me to remind others of what The Lord requires of us; to give them His Word. In this case it was to forgive others so that we, ourselves, may be forgiven. But it was going to be exceptionally hard because by doing so I had to remind the person of the source of their pain and bring it before them on Christmas Day. I was tempted to just rely on the Novena prayer and not say anything. I even had a big accident that landed me in hospital and gave me an easy excuse to not attend, not say anything and avoid the whole issue!

In the end, after a full day and a half of prayer, God won the battle and I did not give up hope to despair. I also did not refuse to believe in a spontaneous miracle against all odds. Furthermore I did not give up speaking the Truth- in exchange for “the easy way out”, complete avoidance or complacency.

My Christmas Novena was heard and answered that day even if I haven’t seen the slightest sign of it yet and even if things look worse than ever.

I need to remember to “suffer well” for sake of the Gospel (and sometimes that means suffer long) press to the Cross (not avoid it) and await God’s final Victory. I can offer up all sufferings for the Salvation of Souls so that not one is lost. I can pray and be ready at all times and ask God to fill me with His Holy Spirit so that I am not an obstacle in His Way.

There was not some amazing visible result in answer to my prayer. That story is yet to be written. Quite the opposite occurred. But God works constantly and I believe this even when I can’t see it. And I look forward to the miraculous day that I will see the full answer to this prayer and all the prayers I have prayed in love, sincerity and truth.

^{_{“O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee”}}